you’re not the norm- you’re the exception

Lump, bump, spot, legion and tumour all evoke the same response: fear, anger, distress and cancer (I use cancer as if it’s an emotion lol but in any case it translates to a wide range of emotions so I can justify including it in my list.)

That’s how my appointments went last week; I left with all the above while trying to focus on the assurance that was given to me.

Assurance is something I cling to, we all do, naturally. We like to be reassured that what we’re going through will be okay. In my case, the usual assurance is that my health will continue on a promising path, at least for a brief period of time allowing me to live.

Everyone knows I live for all the little things. The feeling of the sun on my face or the breeze that makes its way under my coat.

The life I am living feels so much more intense.

Today as I ride the bus, I’m trying to understand how I can influence people to feel the sun instead of just seeing it. 

Stop trying to see and understand things just FEEL them.

Sometimes experiences are meant to feel straight up awful- like when your childhood pet dies or you lose a family member. These events are meant to evoke emotions like sadness and frustration. It’s meant to feel awful but that doesn’t mean you should shut out experiencing it.

It allows you to learn and grow as a person.

For your own sake FEEL everything that comes your way: good, bad, awful or wonderful. 

We’ve all heard “just because your problems aren’t as bad as someone else’s doesn’t make yours any less real.” 

This is true and I stand by that but it’s important to acknowledge that people do have it worse than you. Heck I’ve met tons of people that have it worse than me. 

It doesn’t mean your problems aren’t as important or real but it does mean they could potentially be easier to deal with and that is unarguable.

So experience your problems but be sure if you overcome them you realize you’re not the norm you’re the exception.

Celebrate the milestones in your life- big, small & everything in between.

Xox Anyse 

Double the trouble

Its been awhile. It’s almost like when I feel good, I get so caught up in living I forget to share.

It’s something I need to work on because sharing is so rewarding, whether my story resignates or not, it allows me to let go of everything I’m feeling.

So here is my current obstacle: a double mastectomy.

Double is good when it comes to double the snacks, double the dogs, double the time but NOT when it comes to double mastectomies.

When talk of a double mastectomy first arose, during the end of my chemotherapy treatments, my boyfriend tried to enlighten the conversation by telling my oncologist (may I add pediatric oncologist)  “at least she can get the fake boobs she’s always dreamt about.” In that moment I was MOST definitely embaressed. That was far too much information for my oncologist yet he laughed & I too did.

The conversation was short, for the current battle was beating the cancer I had already been diagnosed with, not PREVENTING a new one.

But here we are, almost a year and a half post active treatment and these preventative steps are now on the forefront.

I saw my new genetic doctor just over a month ago and I already have an appointment with both the surgeon who removes the breast tissue & the surgeon who completes the reconstruction.

The thought of losing my natural breasts doesn’t make me feel like any less of a woman BUT it still sucks (a whole frickin lot.)

I can’t feel half my face (no change there) but now losing feeling in part of my chest is daunting & somewhat overwhelming.

Follow along for this new adventure (I use the term adventure loosely.)

But basically, by the end of this journey, I’ll be a bionic woman.

xox Anyse