Thankful

It’s 1:54 pm on a Tuesday afternoon and I don’t think I’ve ever loved being alive as much as I do in this moment. I’ve recently spent a lot of time thinking about everything I’ve gone through the last few months and suddenly all I feel is a weird mixture of sadness & relief all in one.

It all seems a little too good to be true- I made it out alive, in one piece; stronger & wiser than I could have ever imagined. My world was shattered when I found out I was sick again, but now that this chapter is coming to an end, it almost feels like I’m losing a part of me that I spent so long learning to love. I had never been so happy; everything & anything put a smile on my face. Now that the chapter is slowly ending I feel like I’m losing part of myself in the midst. It may be hard to understand from someone on the outside looking in nevertheless, cancer helped me find the person I wanted to become. Strong, understanding, loving and all around happy.

Cancer took a lot away- appearance, sensation & mobility but it also allowed me to gain so many wonderful qualities.

For that I am thankful.

Thankful to be alive & thankful to be me.

I hope each and everyone of you feels the same way.

Xo

 

Accepting death

I’ve recently been asked by multiple people how I stay so positive while going through something so difficult and challenging. If I’m being completely honest, the answer is quite simple- accepting that death may come a little sooner than you had once anticipated.

I know death is a difficult subject. The majority of people have a hard time accepting the death of a loved one or dear friend, let alone their own death. It is too often seen as the worst possible outcome.

Perhaps if it was seen in a more positive light those who suffer/suffered from a physical illness could live a happier and more fulfilling life.

I’m not saying it’s an easy pill to swallow. It’s not like I woke up one morning and decided that I was okay with my life ending at such a young age. It took a few months, and much thought but I have finally come to the realization that:

DEATH is okay

DEATH is unavoidable

DEATH is a part of life

Sure I’m young and sure I have a million things I would like to accomplish before my time here is up, but if tomorrow were to be my last day I am content with the things I’ve done, the people I’ve met and the love I have felt.

“A life with love is a life that’s been lived.”

For those of you going through the same thing (or for those who want to appreciate their lives a little extra) – take a deep breath every time you wake up, hug the ones you love a little extra and conquer the day as if it were your last.

You don’t need to live a long life to live a complete life.
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“Where you live shouldn’t dictate if you live”

If you’re capable of reading this, it’s likely that you live somewhere relatively nice, where your basic needs are met.

Imagine living somewhere where your basic needs AND human right are never met. Everyday life would be difficult and I’m assuming (at times) quite frustrating; to feel stuck and unable to make a change, simply because of your geographical location.
EVERYDAY, children suffer as a result of where they live. They are unable to thrive in life due to the inaccessibility of health care, something many of us take for granted. Every year, nearly 7 million children worldwide die of preventable diseases. In other words, had those children been somewhere in western civilization with access to a doctor or medical facility, it’s likely that they would have survived.

“About 29,000 children under the age of five – 21 each minute – die every day, mainly from preventable causes. More than 70 per cent of almost 11 million child deaths every year are attributable to six causes: diarrhoea, malaria, neonatal infection, pneumonia, preterm delivery, or lack of oxygen at birth.”

-UNICEF

Children who suffer of non preventable diseases in these countries have no chance at life. If they don’t have access to basic healthcare, they most definitely don’t have access to specialty healthcare for illnesses such as cancer, MS, cystic fibrosis, etc. This is a result of:  lack of knowledge, lack of equipment and lack of funds.

Being both a cancer survivor and patient, I can personally vouch for the importance of medical advancement. If I was a child in a country without access to health care, I wouldn’t be here today.
We must not only be citizens in our own backyard but also citizens of the world.

Perhaps doing your part is simply recognizing how lucky you are to live in a country that gives you options. Death is still a possibility, even in Canada (depending on the severity of the disease.)  However, with access to healthcare, you have the chance to fight for your life: an opportunity many wouldn’t even dream of.

Help where and when you can.Whether you volunteer, donate (join the fight with SickKids) or spread knowledge on the subject.

Xo

Life isn’t fair

Life isn’t easy nor is it fair but my god is it worth fighting for. I wake up every morning thinking to myself is it ever nice to be alive. To smell the outdoors & to feel my feet touch the ground. My journey has yet to really begin as I embark into the next step towards a cancer free body, it’s inevitable I get a little emotional. (Let me remind you it’s okay to feel things- it’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to be nervous, it’s okay to be angry- EMOTIONS ARE MEANT TO BE FELT) People that tell you otherwise choose to neglect them.

I just want you to know that life sucks & rocks all at the same time,

I CAN’T STRESS IT ENOUGH; life is worth fighting for XO